I work for an awful corporate monster that has absolutely zero respect for my individuality or anything else that identifies me as a unique person. They keep scheduling me for brutal stretches of nights when I have gone on the record several times saying that nights don’t work for me. There are multiple people in my department yet they force me to be there almost every night because no one else wants to be there. Needless to say when I’m forced to be somewhere eight nights in a row it is difficult to maintain any type of performance schedule. Especially for standup. I’ve been dealing with this over a year and it doesn’t seem to be improving. I know my days are numbered there and I would love to get fired so I can collect unemployment but there’s no way I’ll ever be that lucky. If I was an expert hacker I would add my boss to MegansLaw.com. I could just become an asshole and piss everyone off but that didn’t work the last time this scheduling shit got out of hand. This blog post serves no purpose. My work won’t read it and take action to aid me. Prospective employers will probably get scared because they don’t want to be the next group of shitheads that has to deal with me. I get no therapy from it because it just saps any sort of effort out of me. The only reason why I’m doing it is to have something to push me. Knowing this is out there on the record might actually force me out of there. If I’m still there in three months I can go back read this and realize nothing has changed and quit on the spot. It’s just a shitty restaurant tourists go to and get diarrhea because the food quality is shit and no one cares. Especially me.
Check out this bizarre promotional experiment for Bleachers upcoming album. If you look very close at the end you can see me.
This is a video Zack made. Check out Winning One Liners and anything else Zack does. He’s a funny guy.
Spent a day in the desert making this. Got pretty sunburned. It was fun. Hire me. I hate my job.
I miss El Cid.
I had the pleasure of being in a project my friend Ben Berman directed a couple weeks ago. It’s not ready to post yet but this is the last thing I did with him.
My friend Cornell showed me this a while ago and I found it hilarious. Found it as I was going through my YouTube channel and realized a shot for shot remake of this is the only kickstarter campaign I would ever donate money to.
Anyone who has spent more than 15 seconds at a bus stop in Los Angeles has probably overheard or (more likely) has had an insane person aggressively spew this wonderful piece of nonsense three inches from their face “This is LA man! The struggle is real man! Everbody just tryin’ to get their grind on, you know? Just about gettin’ seen man. Everbody doin’ it. Just gotta keep on…” I have personally had at least 15,000 people share this incisive tidbit with me. They all follow the same script too. Is there a manual I never read because I was born here in Los Angeles County? Did I miss out on a killer book on tape because I didn’t have the gumption to take a bus here from Hogfuck, Arkabama? I think the answer is more ridiculous than most would believe.
Having grown up here in the Los Angeles area I have had the pleasure over the years of encountering several amazing people from all walks of life. Sure some of them have been actors, musicians, producers and other entertainment types but most are regular everyday working people. Teachers, lawyers, accountants, construction workers. People from almost every field one could think of. Guess what? Every single one of them struggles or has struggled immensely at some point. Not just successful people, all people. Struggling doesn’t guarantee any measurable form of success. It just means you are just like 99% of the world. Sorry to break it to you You’re not that special. That’s the problem with aspiring artists. Most are delusional to put it mildly.
Sorry to break it to most of the people “grinding” in LA but it just won’t happen for you. It’s the cruel reality of show business. It takes years of hard work (something I hate therefore I’m content with my failures). I’m also not trying to bully people that have moved here from other places. I have visited those places and I would leave too. I guess the point of this post is to express my disgust for people that have a sense of entitlement just because they’re putting forth some effort at something they may suck at. That and how some people feel because they’re attempting a career in entertainment their struggle is for some reason more important than what the rest of the world goes through. Everyone struggles so just fucking deal with it.