Well the clock keeps ticking toward opening weekend but all we have to show for it is this garbage period known as preseason. If we all cross our fingers we can only hope to slip into comas that will take us to opening kickoff. Until then let’s take a look around the league…..Calling the first preseason game between two also rans the Hall of Fame Game does more to take away integrity from the Hall Of Fame than the induction of a punter. No offense Ray Guy. You deserve it…..The Miami Dolphins have debuted a new team credo this season in light of the 2013 bullying scandal that is eerily similar to the credo of the US Army. If you want to distance yourself from cruelty and oppression you might not want to model your standards after the US military…..The NCAA’s reaction to the O’Bannon decision is hilarious. Of course they “disagree” with a landmark legal ruling that will forever alter the landscape of college sports and cost them billions in revenue. Combine that with the announcement that the five power conferences will now be allowed to basically write their own rules and we are witnessing the early stages of death in the cancer known as the NCAA…..Kansas City has so much speed in the backfield they might have to start paying a cartel tax…..College football players that transfer the first week of training camp probably wish they could take all the team balls home with them too…..That’s all I have this week. Next week I’ll have much more after I spend the weekend polishing my third eye.
Training camp is here! The NFL season is finally here and I couldn’t be happier. Players from all over have descended upon camp armed with contract demands and quality painkillers. So far nothing truly eventful has happened. I was personally hoping they would charge Aaron Hernandez with a couple more murders before camp kicked off. Instead we have to wait until the two trials he has pending.
The Pigskin Prophet is just the kind of lame name that attracts a lot of traffic so I figured I have nothing to lose here except dignity. It’s not like I’m going to post some ridiculous predictions on here however if the Cleveland Browns win the Super Bowl my friend Don Takano will wear a bikini top for a whole day. Still not enough for me to ever root for those pathetic losers.
At the end of the day there are plenty of football blogs written by F-list open mic comics and I’m glad you chose mine. If you’re not a total Neanderthal I suggest subscribing in one of the boxes to the left. That way you won’t miss a syllable of my musings. God forbid Aaron Hernandez kills again I break the story and you miss it. Well I must say this post isn’t bad for week one of training camp. Next week I might actually talk about football a little.
New Orleans did just enough this offseason to make that defense nasty. If Drew Brees stays on par with his previous level of play I expect them to make a run at San Francisco and Seattle…..Philadelphia looks to have that division won already. It’s weak and despite losing Desean Jackson I feel a full year of Nick Foles and a healthy Jeremy Maclin make them the clear cut front runners in the East…..The NFC West is brutal. San Francisco and Seattle aren’t sneaking up on anyone but Arizona quietly went 10-6 last year while missing the playoffs. Throw in a much improved St. Louis team (especially along their defensive line) and that looks to be the most competitive division in the league…..Detroit has more offensive weapons than Israel but they’ll still figure out a way to miss the playoffs. Again…..Ray Rice only receiving a two game suspension is laughable. Makes those Bountygate suspensions look a little excessive now.
Check out this bizarre promotional experiment for Bleachers upcoming album. If you look very close at the end you can see me.
This is a video Zack made. Check out Winning One Liners and anything else Zack does. He’s a funny guy.
Spent a day in the desert making this. Got pretty sunburned. It was fun. Hire me. I hate my job.
I miss El Cid.
I had the pleasure of being in a project my friend Ben Berman directed a couple weeks ago. It’s not ready to post yet but this is the last thing I did with him.
My friend Cornell showed me this a while ago and I found it hilarious. Found it as I was going through my YouTube channel and realized a shot for shot remake of this is the only kickstarter campaign I would ever donate money to.